Death..Oh death!!!!!

Our teacher in Creative Writing required us to write our death note for our final requirement and so I wrote this last last day.

I knew that since I was in my mothers’ womb, I had also started my journey in life. However, I did not know when, where and how would a journey of mine will end. I wrote this note for my love ones, my family, friends and relatives. So that, if ever I died in an unexpected moment or time, they will know something about my last testament and wishes for them to easily get over and not totally hurt for whatever will happen to me especially, my family.

I was not that fortunate to rise in a middle class of society because not every material thing in this world given to me. I could say that I have enough of everything and as of now, I am contented for what I have owned. Foods, clothes, and shelter was provided by my parents and yes I knew that they cared of me because I didn’t reached this age if they neglected me at very young age(definitely hehehe). Right, Mama and Papa gave all my needs. But, how about my wants? I am a normal person and every normal person has wants in life. Maybe you found it a little bit confusing because I had told earlier that I am contented but I am asking for my wants now.

Since the day that I had begun to realized everything in this world, I had also started then too dreamed of this “want”. I am not a materialistic person because it is not a thing I am asking for but it is the “love” of my Papa. Actually, Papa and I are not that closed to each other and it’s only Mama who always support and cheered for me whenever I won in quiz bee, beauty contest and received an award  from the school. And at that moment of my life, I wanted my father to be beside my mother cheering for my success but it never happened. Of course, I am happy to see those medals hanging on my neck, the ribbons on my chest and the trophies beside me but deep inside I am hoping to see the shadow of Papa in the crowd. Neither the medals and ribbons nor the trophies can make me the happiest girl in this Earth but it is the showed love of both my parents.

To my three brothers, please do not make Mama worry and mad anymore and stop being stubborn and obey Mama and Papa, instead. Take care of them ‘coz I would not be able to do it now. Bunso and Jep , don’t forget that Ate loves you huh, we can still play games outside naman  but I’m just going to watch on you na lang. You should not go around in dangerous places to avoid accident, okay. Moreover, study hard. Kuya, I hope you are not serious when you said that you have your wife na. Come to think of the reality brother, you were only 22 years old and currently you do not have your stable job. How will you raise your kids in the future? How is your family going to live and survive? Well I am not against on your idea of settling down but I suggest that you should find first a permanent job and earn for tomorrow before having your own family.

Ate, thank you for everything even though we are not totally sisters but you made me feel the sisterly love. You treated me like your own little sister and that is why I’m going to miss you forever. Te, thank you for giving birth to my little cute niece, she made me laughed every time she calls the bird “kakak” and the pig as “babs”, short for baboy hehehe. I will miss her cackle and actions whenever I sing the song “ten chicks”. And, I will miss her gestures when she was trying to imitate me all the time that she’s with me. Take care of her Ate, and do not forget to tell her the truth that she had her aunt who is more beautiful than her mother hahaha…Love you Te!!!

To Mama, thank you for the nine months of bringing me in your womb. Thank you for the love and care you showed to me while growing up. For those days and nights, you suffered just to replace my diapers and make my milk, those sleepless nights to ensure my safe sleep, for cuddling me whenever I am sick and guiding me out from my hopeless situation, a big big THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU Ma!!! For those stories and gossips you shared to me that made me laughed and cried, those lessons in life you have told to me when I was alive, I will never forget and always remember them. I silently salute and adore you all the time; you are the best superwoman in the house Mom, hmmm you know that hehehe. I love you Ma!!! I could still remember the day when we went in Tuban because of quiz bee then I got the first place, wahaha you burst into tears and that is the first time I saw you cried because of me (tsk tsk I was inspired then). I even remember the time you hide the bread in plastic wares in the kitchen afraid that we might found and eat it without you then after few days I found it already rotten, you called yourself “fool” and I teased you about it. Those memories will stay in my heart forever.

To Papa, I hope you will read this letter because one of the reasons why I made it is you. I have so much to say to you personally but all I can do is to write them down today. Pa, I know you have been a good father to us and I want to thank you for that. I knew that you love me as well as my brothers, but why you did not show it to us. You know what Pa, I secretly envied my cousins who are very much acquainted to their parents because their father is very vocal in his emotions and I wished you to be like that. I didn’t want you to change for nothing but for the better. There are times that I tried to talk to you but you just ignore and leave me. Why Papa? Are you not happy having us in your life? Don’t we deserve your love? Are we that too hard headed for you to show your love and care, huh? I’m begging you Papa, please stop being like this because in due time you’ll have your grandsons and daughters na. Will you treat them in that way, too? No Papa, as long as your love ones still lives, don’t hesitate to show everything to them and let them feel your love. In return, they will surely do something that you will never ever forget in your whole life. I understand the possible reason why you are like that, and it’s being afraid of losing respect from us but I guess it’ll never happen to you. You just don’t know how much we respect and love you Pa, you just don’t know. I will be leaving in this world without knowing and experiencing your love and care but I hope you would say “ I love you, anak” at my burial. That’s the last word I wanted to hear from you Papa, nothing else and nothing more.

To my friends, relatives and those whom I already knew, thank you for the memories we have shared all throughout the past years of my life. I really appreciated all the good things and bad things that happened to me because they became my inspiration and stepping-stone in life. I honestly enjoyed being with you guys especially when it comes to “kalokohan trip”(the momentous moment hehehe). Stay healthy and connected to God, Ate Sha and Ate Ruth(pablow-out naman na dyan heheh).

I love you all!!!Take care of yourselves!!!

GOODBYE TO ALL OF YOU!!! I’LL be MISSing YOU FOREVER!!!